past not equal to furture

now a dayz m getting realli lazii
not onli tat but m having mixed emotions too
sumthings make me think a lot while others i dun even bother abt it
but today's entry is abt my mummi the heroine of my life && certain thingss

alrite mummi!!!!
i knw u can see me tat m writing tis letter to u
but u can't response to me && even if u do neither can i see it or hear it
certain things realli hurt me mum
i dun knw who to tell too but sumtimes i feel like crying out loud
but sumtimes i realli need a shoulder to pour out my sorrows
the size of my heart is realli small but inside it 1001 things r all bottled up
i dun knw wen it wld burst but wen it burst nth can be done ten

i always wanted to tell ya hw much u mean to me
but as i felt soo shy && found it soo childish tat my love for u
hav neva been expresses )):
as i wan to tell it nw, u aren't here
y mus u leave me sooo fast wen u promised me million thingss
but nw all those things hav vanished through thin air

17yrs ago a foetus was formed in ya womb
the place where nth can ever replace it
the place filled wit warmness & love & care & concern & everything
but ten i didn't knw time wld be realli short for me to cum out so soon frm the heavenly place
wen i came out i felt cold,shivery,scared ten i started crying hoping i wld get the warmness again
ten i heard ya heartbeat in those small ears & felt ya warmness once again
ten i realised i got bk the feeling again

each time wen i cried u picked me up && checked on me
thinkin sumthin might hav hurt me or even i was crying in hunger or aniting
i started to grew up
i grew up as a princess
a baby gal where she got everything && demanded for more
but tat baby gal didn't realise tat she was making use of her mother's love
she did not treasure tem
wen she got out of her cage she flew away far away frm her mother
where she thought she cld do aniting && everything in life

ten 16yrs later she started making her mother cry each && every nite
maybe she took revenge??? or was it tat she didn't realise the love???
she did not knw ten but nw wen tat baby gal is nw 17 she realised the truth
but the queen wasn't ard animore
she started regreting by crying,screaming out loud hoping she wld sumhw find the warmness again.but she didn't,she did not get it

sumtimes she wonders y is tat her sis && dad && even her dog cld see her && feel her presence
while she does not get it
is it her ill fate??? or the punishment tat she deserved??
&& ten she asked the queen," Y MUM U HATE ME SOOO MUCH??" or "DID I MAKE U SUFFER SOO MUCH??"
no answers given to her
but life as to still go on
she can't forget the incident her whole life till she close her eyes && take her last breath on earth
all she wish nw is tat once she is gone she wld go bk to her queen once again
hoping to ask for forgiveness && give her the big warmest hug ani1 cld get it on earth

as i walk dwn the streets
i see many mother & daughters holding hand walking
toking,laughing,eating,dancing,singing,fighting
&& i get jealous as i dun get to do ani of them again wit u
u mus be surprised hw cum i m writing abt u but i dun knw hw to express my love
so i realli hope u wld read tis && hug me in my dreams for once mum

as u were concerned for my studies && u said i was always playful
i m proud to say i struggled && passed my N'level
i passed every single subjects mum
i hope i made u proud
nw u as wished again m taking my Os tis yr
i hope i wld do ya proud again by passing them && pursuing my dreams
i jus wan u to give me ya blessing for everything i do mum
my love for u is not said by wrds,it can onli be felt by u && onli u

lotsa love
princess

nw my life story!!!!
i wonder y my bk of LIFE is soooo big && filled wit a lot of things
lolxx
every1 does face different kind of problem daily in life
i wld not say my problems here but jus i feel
INCOMPLETE && SCREWED && TROUBLED && LOST
tis wrds can describe hw i feel && wad is happeningg

time fly soooo fast tat nw is march gona end && april wld rise
2mths left for my Os MT papers
i hope tat i wld pass it
at least B3 or A2 is enough for meeee
god bless everyone && tc of my queen

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I gave you my promise
on Friday, March 28, 2008; 7:00 PM
klematis



The Blog Owner


Kirthi
17 January 1991
Short & Cute

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